Lifestyle Playtime (DeKalb City) Sex & Swingers Club
Address: DeKalb, IL, USA
Website: http://groupspaces.com/LifestylePlaytime
Lifestyle Playtime is not a place or nightclub! It is a group of like-minded committed couples and single ladies. We welcome newbies as well as experienced couples that wish to explore the lifestyle. Single men are not allowed. Lifestyle Playtime hosts a Facebook group and holds a monthly erotic theme event, exclusively designed for fun, open-minded sexy couples, and single women.
Lifestyle Playtime events are held in a setting that invites you to get intimate in a safe, relaxed and fun environment. Alluring people, great music, sexy environment. Cum join us for the fun! Our events are the place to explore that erotic side of your life, so let your hair down, mingle, and dance the night away. We cater to our female guests, where comfort and safety is our main concern.
The ladies set the limits to all activities and it is understood that women run the show. Our women are free to be daring, be adventurous and feel comfortable dressing casually or in provocatively in creative and erotic outfits. We encourage you to be as sexy or glamorous as you like… anything she decides goes………use your imagination!
Table of Contents
Swinger Club Etiquette
BE RESPECTFUL
Everyone is here to have a good time. That starts with having a safe venue where everyone is free to enjoy the music and the company without having to worry about being treated rudely. Always ask before touching someone. Not only is it respectful, it is expected. As always No means No. If you are a genuine and nice person, you’re likely to meet some people interested in getting to know you a little better. Respect everyones personal space and privacy. Remember what happens at the club, stays at the club.
Practice Good Hygiene
Its surprising to say but you should look and smell your best when going to a club. Take a shower, put on something nice and head on out.
Social Area
The social area is a place for people to meet, chat and dance. Feel free to mingle. Introduce yourself to several tables of people to meet some people. Dressing sexy is encouraged but not required. Nudity is absolutely acceptable. No intercourse in the social area.
Theme rooms
The theme rooms are available for use by all members and guests that wish to make use of them. Some things to remember.
1) No unescorted men in the theme room area. Men must be accompanied by a lady or you will be asked to leave and not invited back. If your escort leaves the room, you will as well.
2) A closed door should not be opened. These rooms are for people that want a little privacy, please respect that.
3) Voyeurism is acceptable. If the door is open you are welcome to watch. Again, behave with respect.
4) Ask first, even in the big open room.
5) No still means no.
6) No Drinks in the Theme Room area.
7) No Sex in the hot tub.
Alcohol
Soft drinks and Mixers are provided but no alcoholic beverages. If you wish you may BYOB, either beer, wine or other spirits. There is a refrigerator for your use and a bar area for use. You are expected to drink responsibly, not over consume and please never drink and drive. Absolutely no drugs are permitted on the premises at any time.
Club hours and entrance
The club will open 30 minutes before the party time for first time visitors. On your first visit to the club you will be given a tour and asked to sign the rules and waiver. No one will be admitted after 10:00 pm. Once you enter the club, you are expected to stay within the club. If you leave for any reason, you will not be readmitted. There is a designated smoking area that is considered “inside” the club. No pipe or cigar smoking.
Have Fun
The lifestyle is about having fun. Relax and let the evening develop. Take in some dancing, have some food meet some people and enjoy the evening. Put your best foot forward and show people your positive self. You’ll be amazed at how much better the world is with that positive outlook.
General Club Rules
- No cell phone usage except in designated areas.
- The most important person in the club is the person who came with you.
- If you experience a problem, please let us know right away. Its hard to address the issue a day or week later.
- Discretion is a must, for you and everyone else.
- No cameras or recording devices
- Discuss your rules and boundaries as a couple prior to attending an event.
- Leave the drama at home. If your drama spills into the club, you will be asked to leave.
- Needless to say but we will. Theft, fighting, rude or obnoxious behavior will win you a trip to somewhere else but here, permanently.
- If you plan to use the showers or the hot tub, it would be a good idea to bring your own towel.
What to Expect at a Club
So you’ve never been to a swingers club and you’re wondering what to expect. Just reading this has your heart pounding with nervousness, excitement and anticipation. You have heard all kinds of crazy things on the Internet. Those crazy porn videos have you thinking. Clubs are just to crazy for us. We’ve heard all kinds of stories from people about what they expected to find there. One of the most comon is you have to take all your clothes off at the door and have sex with everybody…. Nothing could be further from the truth. I guess there could be a place like that be we have never heard of one.
Nothing could be further from the truth. When entering a club for the first time, you are greeted with an area that looks just like…wait a minute…it looks just like a bar. There are chairs, tables, a bar area and a dance floor. Am I in the wrong place? No, you’ve just been watching a little too much TV. A club is just that for the most part, a club. People are dressed just like they are going out to a local “vanilla” club. They come to socialize, dance and meet other people.
Now your thinking “that can’t be all”. You would be correct about that. After a short while, some may choose to dress a little more intimately while some prefer to remain in the clothes they arrived in. Whether or not you choose to dress to match them is entirely up to you. Many first time visitors decide to simply dance, be social and take in the view, some choose to participate in some of the activities. It is entirely up to you. One of the most important rules to remember is that nothing is expected of you, you can act as you feel comfortable. One other big difference is that it is not impolite to stare, a bit. In fact, you might find that getting caught “checking out” another mans wife might lead her (possibly with his encouragement) to make sure you leave no sights unseen.
Another big difference is the play areas. This is designated private or semi private rooms for use by couples as they like. Whether or not you chose to join others is up to you, and them.
On our first visit, my husband and I both thought it might be a bit wild for us. Perhaps just meeting another couple one on one is a better way. To our pleasant surprise, a club is probably the least intimidating experience we could imagine for getting into the lifestyle. People as a whole were easier to talk to and more pleasant than any other night club we had been to and no one ever at any time pressured us. In fact, as people found out we were new, they offered simple words of advice that usually included to know our boundaries and don’t do anything we are not comfortable with. The encouraged us to take our time participating in activities and offered that it was acceptable to just hang out and watch a little if that is our comfort level.
For those looking to take in some sights a little more risque, some of the semi-private rooms will offer an opportunity to peek in and check it all out.
Hopefully, this has answered some of your questions about what to expect.
FAQ
1) Why no single men?
One of the reasons for starting a group and orginizing events was many people we talked to were unhappy about events that allowed single men. although they said the vast majority of them were nice, too many were overly aggressive, lurkers or just hung around making them feel “creepy”. There are other clubs and groups that allow single men but this group is for those that prefer single men not be admitted to events. No, we will not help find anyone a “date”.
2) Does a couple need to be married?
No, we prefer married or committed couples however FWB are allowed as well. We do ask that you are fully comforatable with each other. You should arrive together as men by themselves will not be admintted. If your wife is just parking the car, you will need to wait until she arives at the door before you can enter.
3) Can I Invite other people?
Absolutly, in fact, we encourage it. They will need to register on the website first.
4) Why can’t we leave and reenter?
Simple, these clubs only exist if the neighborhood accepts thier existance. Not pissing off the neighbors by having a large volume of foot traffic in and out or people hanging around outside is a good start.
5) What is dressing Sexy?
This is a non-public club and therefore you are free to where what ever you want. Many women will decide to change into lingerie, some will dress in much less, some will just stay in their street clothes. Its up to you.
6) Can we pay at the door?
You can pay at the door but keep in mind 2 things. There is room for about 60 couples. When the club is full, its full. If we feel it could be a problem we send a message to everyone that just registed. Second, there is no credit card processing on site so you will need to pay in cash.
7) We are not a “perfect” body type. Will people accept us?
You will find that there are people of all body types at our events. Lifestyple people come in all shapes, ages and races. Everyone fits in, no matter what your age/race/size. Lifestyle people in general are far more accepting and less superficial than others.
Please send us some more questions to add.
Whats the deal with Clubs, Hotel and House parties
Many people new to the lifestyle ask us “Are we experienced enough for a club?”. In talking to people we have come to understand that many people have many misconceptions about many of the environments. We have decided to write down out thoughts on the subject.
Meeting people one on one
This is definately the more tradional way of thinking. After all, its how we approach tradional dating and therefore it makes sense to us. The big difference is that with the online world of today, most people take to online to meet another couple. They send some emails and chat a bit thru text and set a meeting. Then the nervousness sets in. Maybe this is justified and maybe its just nervs. We think that this type of meeting can be the most stressful. You are going to someplace, ideally a bar or something to meet. There is some pressure as you are locked in a bit on who you are meeting. If it does not go well how do you back out, gracefully? What if they want to take things further and you don’t? Some of the things you can do to take the pressure off are to set the ground rules for the first meeting to be just that, a meeting. We often say, there will be no playing on the first meeting. This way, you can go home, talk and decide. Another good suggestion is going to a meet and greet to meet other couples in a group setting, again with no playtime. One on Ones that are built this way can produce long term friends sometimes.
Meet and Greets
Meet and greets are excellent no pressure environments to meet new couples. You are just at a bar with other people you know are in the lifestyle so you do not have to worry about approaching the subject. Lifestyle people are far more friendly than normal crowds, in general. We ahve often gone to regular bars and never talked to anyone. That has never happened at a lifestyle meet and greet. Someone has always said “Hi” to us. Usually the hosts will introduce you to people if you are not talking with other people. Get some contact info, the social site you found the meet and greet works good, just trade profile names.
Hotel Parties
Hotel parties can be lots of fun. Some are complete take overs where the whole hotel is closed to the publc and some have jsut a floor that is closed. Be sure you know what you are going to. There are lots of people. Everyone is in the lifestyle so no embarrasement aobut who you talk to. Many times there are large groups of people that already know each other and it can be a little intimidating to talk to people as you need to take the first step most times. Do keep in mind that just saying “hi” works great. We usually just say, “Hi, we are Jim and Val”. They then need to respond with thier names and we have a converstaion. The party itself usually starts off more mellow but later people rome the hallways nude, swim naked in the pool and hot tub. Many people just leave thier clothes off. there are often open rooms for group play or you cna meet someone and go back to a room for private time. All in all not too bad for new people but it can be a little intimidating to get the ball rolling. Just be a little forward and say “HI”.
House Parties and Hotel Room Parties
House parties are a mixed bag. We do not recommend them for newbies unless you already know at least 2 couples attending. Many are very nice and much like hotel parties but much smaller and intimate. Some can be where everyone is naked and its one big orgy. Anytime we hear experienced couples talking about being unhappy about a spouses behavior it is a house party that was too crazy. That being said, we love house parties when we know a good number of the couples going.
Clubs
Club parties are actually the best place for newbies to start. They really are the lowest pressure situation and you can experience first hand what the lifestyle is all about without having to participate in anything. In many ways it is like going to a bar excpet some people choose to remove some clothing. Again, most people stay clothed in the public areas but it is fully up to you. The environment is smaller so the hosts can take the time to introduce you to other people. At our parties, our bartender, DJ and some select guests work with us to watch for people not talking to anyone so we can go to them and say “Hi”. You can chat, dance, have some food and decide to play or not play with someone and there are lots of people to see and meet. If your just curious about the crazy stuff you have heard, you can walk thru the play areas and see some of the open rooms. You’ll get an eyeful of what you hear about. The big difference from the misconception is that not everyone needs to parcipate and you do need to go to the play areas to see. It is not just in your face and it is most certainly not high pressure to do anything.
Hope this helps you understand the different types of events you could experience. of cource any particular event has its own personality. This is just a glimpse of a perspective but a good start for understanding.
Newbie Tips
This section is a work in progress. Check back often for updates.
Welcome to our group website. This is a good place for information about our events and lifestyle information in general.
So you are interested in the Lifestyle. Perhaps you heard someone talking about it, came across a website discussing it, been thinking about it for a while or maybe even just happened upon this site and now your not sure about a whole range of topic from where to start to what is the etiquette.
We have put together a series of articles here to help with some of these topics for you.
When we started out, there was a very nice couple that was the first couple we met. They were very experienced with well over 10 years in the lifestyle and were very patient with us and took the time to pass on may of their experiences and answered many of our questions. This couple made everything so much easier for us. Now, we like to pass on much of the same advice to others.
Something to keep in mind is that everyone’s preferences, desires, comfort level and other personal choices are different for each of you so take this guide as just a series of stories, helpful hints and things to think about. You should take in the information off this site and make decisions that are right for you.
Opening up your sex life to include activites beyond those generally considered “acceptable” can be one of the greatest things any one or couple can experience. It can also be one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Immediately everyone jumps to, “how can this be such a big mistake?” Nobody wants to be in that catagory. The best way to avoid the pitfalls is to be aware of what they are and try to avoid them. We will be dedicating an article to most of them.
What are some of the pitfalls you may encounter include:
Moving too fast – Don’t jump into doing things that you simply are not ready for. Understand and set your limits.
Communication – You should communicate with your partner about everything. Discuss as much as you can and understand each others feelings. Communicate your feelings with the people you will play with as well. When the others you play with understand your feelings, boundries, wants and desires they can respect and act accordingly.
Honesty – Don’t do anything in secret. You are about to bring other people into what you have always considered to be an intimate experience. Your partner finding you have not been honest and forthcoming in any way allows doubt to enter into the situation and can cause distrust and jealousy.
Jealousy – This may be the one that becomes a problem for some people. The first problem is seperating the idea of intimacy and love from sex. When meeting with other in the lifestyle one thing to keep in mind is you are there for sex. You want to have fun, please and be pleased but also need to realize there is no emotional investment.
Bad Experience – This can cause even veteran swingers to want to rethink your actions. The two things to realize are that first, you will not play with them again and second you should keep in mind that what every went wrong you can take the experience and use that knowledge to make a different choice for next time.
If we haven’t scared you off yet there is good news. Follow some of this advice and you can eliminate or mitigate many of pitfalls and make the lifestyle a very happy experience.
Hotel Party Rules
Hi everyone. With the event approaching we wanted to communicate some information to you.
- This was in the event description but have had several people ask. There is an open bar and the hotel has a liquor license so you may not BYOB into the main areas of the hotel. Softdrinks are provided for diner and the open bar but feel free to bring your own if you wish.
- As always at these events, towels are in demand. If you plan on visiting the pool, you may want to bring your own.
- The room areas will be closed to the hotel staff after 5:00. If you need anything after that you will need to go to the front desk. If there is a problem with the room, it will not be addressed until during the party unless it is critical like a busted pipe. Check your TV and stuff before then.
- Again, no smoking anywhere in the building. This includes vaping. No 420 smoking anywhere. There will be a smoking area outside. clothing will be required while outside.
- Cell Phones You may only have your cell phone out in your room, outside, and by the front desk. If you have your cell phone out elsewhere it will be taken. If you even appear you are taking pics, we will make you show us your pics and if you took any they will be deleted and you will be removed from the event and banned, permanently. EVERYONE deserves this privacy. Let’s not have any problems here, PLEASE!!!
- Leave your room in good condition. Pick up excessive trash. Everyone will be given a trash bag for garbage. Use it.
Please take a few minutes to read all the rules below.
1) Our event rules are to help ensure that everyone has a great time and at the same time provide some guidelines to show everyone the respect they deserve.
2) The first and most important rule is “Ask First”. You should always ask and be clearly invited before touching anyone. Don’t assume and don’t just touch. Please don’t make us ask you to leave over this rule.
3) Second and equally important important. No mean NO! Don’t ask why, just take no for an answer.
4) Participation in any activities is entirely optional. No one is obligated to participate in anything.
5) Condom use is required within the open group play rooms. Even if you are with your partner. What you do in a private hotel room is up to you.
6) We have a zero tolerance policy for drama. If you and your partner are having issues we ask that you remove yourselves from the party quietly. If we or any event staff have to get involved you will be not only removed from the event you will also be removed from the group. We understand that from time to time issues arise but they must be resolved without causing a scene and disrupting the other guests at our events. Our guests attend our events to have a great time not to witness or mediate your issues. This is why we ask you to simply leave quietly.
7) You must show up and stay as a couple. You will not be able to enter event if both partners are not present. You must stay at the hotel as a couple at the party and after party. If your female partner retires for the night, then you must end your night as well.
8) Rude and obnoxious behavior will not be permitted. What constitutes rude or obnoxious is at the sole discretion of the hosts for the evening.
9) No video or pictures are permitted within the hotel without prior permission from the owner and event staff. This includes cell phones. If it even appears you are taking pictures you will be asked to leave. No refunds.
10) No theft of any kind, if it not yours; don’t take it
11) You will be issued an event wristband at the door when entering the event. You must wear the wristband at all times. If you lose it you will be charged an entry fee again. If it falls off, bring it to the desk and we will give you another one. If you are not wearing one, you will be asked to leave the event. There will also be some optional wrist bands.
12) The whole hotel is non-smoking. Anyone smoking in the hotel will be asked to leave. Smoking is allowed out front or in the rear of the hotel. Clothing will be required while outside.
13) Drugs are strictly prohibited! No drugs of any kind! No 420 use in the hotel or in hotel rooms! Any violent behavior of any kind, will have you immediately removed and subject to arrest! Anyone compromising our relationship with the hotel by violating these rules, will be subject to arrest and permanently banned from all future events!
14) Most areas are clothing optional. The pool area is clothing free. The front desk is clothing required (vanilla) as well as the dining area during dinner.
15) Something a little different at hotel parties is the open door policy. If you leave your room door wide open, you are inviting people in. Just because you are inviting them into your room doesn’t mean they are being invited to play. The “ask First” rule does still apply.
16) No glass of any kind outside of your room. Use all plastic please!
17) If you are asked to leave the event. There are no refunds and the hotel will still charge you for the room.
18) You will be asked to sign a simple waiver when entering so bring your driver’s license. You may not attend without it. Here is the text for the waiver.
The undersigned “Promisor” hereby releases Lifestyle Playtime, all staff and all event hosts (Referred to as “LP”) and agrees to indemnify and hold LP harmless for and against any and all claims, costs, fees (including reasonable attorneys’ fees), expenses, fines, and related charges that are incurred by LP as a result of any activity or occurrence that occurs at, or is related directly or indirectly to, any event.
LP’s release and indemnification obligations under this paragraph shall not be affected or diminished to any extent, regardless of whether any Claim for which release and indemnity is sought is based in contract, negligence, tort, or other legal theory. LP shall have the right, but not the obligation, to govern and control the defense and disposition of any claim brought against it, with reasonable input from Promisee.
Party Policy Q and A’s
- Do I have to arrive at 11:30am and/or check into the hotel at 3:00pm? No. These are the times that things start. If you arrive later than that you may miss out on some of the fun but there will be plenty more to be had. You must let us know if you cannot arrive by 8pm and may not arrive after 10pm. Open bar will be 7:00 until 10:00.
- Why do we not get a full refund if we cancel after a certain date? We allow a full refund up until the time we start incurring expenses to make the party happen. We have guaranteed the hotel we rent a specific number of rooms to maintain the exclusive use of the public areas. We have to order good based on signed up people and many other things. The amount we hold back represents some of those costs.
- Why is the party more if we do not have a hotel room? The hotel is offering a very discounted rate open bar and has included dinner with the hotel rate. If you don’t get a hotel room, we do not have that discounting for you and the additional amount covers our addtional cost. Dinner is still being offered at the discounted rate of $25.00 a couple instead of $21.95 a person.
- Why can’t I attend the early events if I don’t want to get a room or purchase dinner? Our hosts are volunteers and are busy enough. We are not managing who paid for dinner or not. If your not having dinner, your not admitted past the lobby and into the event until after 7:00.
- Why must we use condoms in the open and group play rooms even with our committed partners? This is for everyones protection and comfort. Some people may be embarrassed or uneasy about asking for one to be used so the policy is simple “Use a condom”. Others don’t necessarily know who your partner is and shouldn’t have to figure out who is with who. We will provide plenty of condoms for your use. If you don’t want to use one simply go back to your room. Invite people in or just leave the door open if you like. What occurs in your room is up to you and those that join you.
- Why is there no smoking in the hotel? Sorry, Illinois law backs the hotel with their decision that all rooms are non-smoking. Do not jeopardize our relationship with the hotel. We work hard to get them to be as liberal as we can. Finding a hotel willing to cater to our group is not an easy thing to do.
- I don’t drink and don’t need the open bar. Can I have a discount? The short answer is no. The hotel will not distinguish between people who may or may not pay for the open bar. Too many people would get a drink and give it to friends that are no on the open bar package. We also got a rate on the open bar that is great so even with just soft drinks it would be cheaper than a cash bar for most people.
- Can I still use the pool and hot tub and remain clothed? Yes, during the cloting optional hours. There will be cloting optional hours (5 until 10pm) and nude only hours (10pm until 2am).
Jump right to the comments
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- A best place to start and continue your insanely active and at the same time safe sexual life. It’s a way better to start it online and prepare for meetings in real life than do it at the bar or at the night club. Even sex/swingers clubs can be a great discouragement if you visit them without preparation. BTW most swingers clubs and local sex groups have their pages at the place we talk about.
My wife and I are new and are interested if there are any events coming up? Thanks!